Friday, August 29, 2014

serabut.

serabut.
hanya tuhan je tahu betapa serabut aku 24 jam yang lepas.


"esok training SAJ kan? malam ni tdo lewat sikit prepare untuk training semua. takpe, minggu ni je awak serabut. lepas tu okay da"  - Shun,2014

thank you T.T

nope. still ada request. enhancement here and there.

CR Yayasan Sarawak tak siap lg. isk
they already request for training though.
guess who's coming to Sarawak ? lulz
gila. kerja banyak pending, datang lagi satu.

i love my job, i love my job. i love my job. *trick hati sendiwwwikk

Thursday, August 14, 2014

writing happy endings

i loves to write.
a lot.
i even have short stories in my notebook that i wrote but never have the guts to continue each chapter and kept making new ones.

i hate ending the things that i wrote.
because it seems i'm letting go a part of me and will never come back.
that is why the pieces i wrote have no endings. lulz

i guess that is why people loves happy endings.
It marks the story had ended and people shall worry no more. Everything will be okay by now.

to be frank,
i hate happy endings.
it was so unrealistic to me.
"you only get happy endings when u feel loved. "
"you only get happy endings when u have what you want"
"you only get happy endings when you have that person in your hand"

who spread those ideas into this world?


what if you are the place people search when they need love?
what if you are the person responsible to each heart you meet, to guide them, to tell them it was okay to do a lot of mistakes and realizing it was wrong?
what if your job is to pour love to each one you meet,complete their missing part without expecting nothing?
i mean, literally nothing.
can you do that?
because i believe that is a happy ending.
when you realize accepting love is just the part of it. not the whole part.
but when you are ready to give everything in order to make their life better, that is one true act of happy ending.

i think to much of my future.
and i tend to think a few plot that wasn't even there before.
because simply to search our happy endings are not that easy as on the novels we read for the past years.
it is a never ending process until we die. We tried to comprehend with others because we thought that will be our starter for a happy endings.
And the result?
We search the happy endings in people around us. We want to know the latest happy things they have and what is the par they had set so we can reach it and eager to level it up another par.
Simply because we want to show others,

 'look here. i am happy too. as you are. I'm joining the club now. let's be happy together.'

Feeling familiar?
*chuckles*
because honestly i'm one of them.
*it's hard you know to get rid all that perasaan nak jugak mcm orang lain. tsk *


Happy endings never exist.
because it is everywhere.

it was in every single point when we decide we are happy.

not decided by the weather, the people around you(who you choose to be with) or the price you pay to get them.

our happy endings are different.
stop comparing, start cherish people around you and create things you will love, not by others.









sakit mata.super duper bored.

having eyes infection for this week.
4 hari mc. hari pertama syok la boleh rehat.
the next day, i started to worry kerja kat ofis.
4 hari.
4 hari.
haihh.

plus,
 i'm super duper bored.
bored to death.
nak keluar, tapi ,
i have no life here .

lone ranger gila.
you know how hard it is to live somewhere where no one you knew come from your childhood friends.

kawan sekolah rendah.
kawan sekolah menengah.
kawan matrix.
kawan uni.
tak ada.
semua tak ada.

i think i can get depression if this is going on for years coming.

family is in another box.
i can't mingle that boxes with each other.

colleagues are awesome. they are super duper nice.
but, still how i shall compare with best friends of four years with those only known for, i don;t know ;  six months maybe.


but, maybe.
maybe.

Allah suruh rehat.
penebus dosa.
hmmmm.




Sunday, August 3, 2014

forgetful


 i tends to forgot what good things other people had done for me.
and i'm worried about that.
someone used to say the same thing about this to me but i ignored it because i believed i deserve to be treated better.

it turns out, it was me who was holding a lot of baggage. always thought people aren't being nice enough and doesn't care about my needs.

that is so selfish, liyana.

i'm sorry.