Monday, December 12, 2011

slowtalk with a man

last night i have a little chat with my old friend. knew him since primary school. tibe2 je pop up kluar, telling bout  that psiko. well, i dont want to serabut2 my kepala bout that.

 than, there's a lot of things i had chat with him that i would never thought i will told him about that.

mane awek kau. nak tengoookkk

 ala., nanti laa. bff lain pon tak tahu lg.

ok.ok. weh, ***  dgn *** da putus ke?

da, lame da. syg kan. lame sgt diorg kapel. 8 tahun. putus mcm tu je. tu la, nk suke dgn org, belum tentu tu jodoh kau.

yeke, aku igt diorg ok je.

ntahla. jgn syg 100%. 50% pon da cukup. suke biar sekadar je.

but, how can?

pnjg ctenye..

ouh..aku cume curious je. yela, i was there when that relationship start to happen. maybe. or not. (aku mls nk byk tanya. kadang2 know less is better)

aku next year baru amek muet. tak taw la cane.

relax r:)
btol jugak en. tak bole syg org btol2 kan.

ha.taw pon.

tapi aku da syg btol2. cmne.. :(

ko pindah ke. jumpe org ni


perbetulkan la niat kau. kalau ade jodoh, ade la. kalau takde nk uat cmne. syg sekadar biase je.

tapi kali ni aku da btol2 syg :'(

wat bf tu mcm member2 je

ala...AKU NAK JUGAK.. :'-(

tak bole yana., anggap special sket je.,

ala.,.,aku nak jugak. nak jugak :'-(

tak bole. NANTI KAU MAKAN DIRI yana.,


ko igt senang, bercinta bagai nk rak 8 tahun lpas tu putus. igt senang ke nk lupe.
nanti kau da umur 24 kau carikla y siryes. 23 ke., k yana? ko msti nk llki y bekerjayaan sume kan? tetap sume kan?
mane tahu jodoh kau jumpe org lain. Allah maha mengetahui

ala.,tapi die keje da :'-( aku nk die jugak. nak jugak.nak jugak.

  • jgn wat dri kite cm terhegeh kat seseorang
  • nnty dye pk seng amek kesempatn
  • kawal diri liyana
  • anytime ko blh dapt siapa2
  • ko syng dye, xde masalah
  • tpi bia biase je
  • kalau terlampau sgt naty mkn diri
  • naty jadi obses
  • pk tak kalau dye tggalkan kau, mcm mana kau nk handle


    kau da obses ni yana..

    aku rase karma aku kene ni.,

    ngade takdenye nak karma karma. dgr ckp aku.

    well, the conversation was long like hell actually.

    aku terdiam pk benda ni. tidur pun mcm tak lena je. 
    a man y nasihatkan aku. 

    it's kinda good actually listen what a man wanna say. at least i know there is a lot of good man out there :)

    frankly, it's not like i wanna tell people  bout this.but to think. if a man deciding its decision like this, how about us. girls??????

    my little friend really had grown up  being a man now. thanks  kawan :-)

Friday, November 18, 2011


i feel heavy.
a lot of things keep playing in my mind.
and for some reason i feel empty. 
something that is always happen and i always rarely think why.

while sitting alone, thinking back what had i done, i just remember something.
i totally forget Him.
heavier without Him.
emptiness happen.

after perform maghrib,
i took the love letters.
and start to read it.
almost an hour.
i only read surah ar-ra'd.
and i cant read it smoothly.
the sign that show i had leave it too long.

hina rasa.

and after kiss it, i feel lighter. mild. 
 the emptiness start dissappearing a little.
only a little.
a sign that show i should read it more.


Monday, October 31, 2011

movie maniac.

tell me which movies i've not gotten running seeing them yet.

Bini Biniku GAngster
bole la.

Hantu Bonceng
ni pon bole la.

Final Destination 5
FD ni y paling tak best.

kind a good start for him. heroin tak pandai blakon.

the Smurfs
cute cartoon :-)

Johnny English 
not bad la :)

the Three Musketeers
kind of ohsem!! hensem. ngeh3

Real Steel
y ni paling ohsem tahun ni. aku carik la gambar budak tu tp tak jumpe. gmbr die ni je kua. hoh. gile glemer.

In Time
this story is the most unique one. go see it.
IN TIME  ni sgt unique.
based on
no money=no time=you die
no time=no money=you die

oh, all of them i saw with my wonderful frenz :)
no pic for them.nanti naa :)
ah ni la budak kacak dlm real steel tuh. kecik2 lagi da buat aku rasa ada getaran di jiwa. HAHA

the movie that ' have waited so much tak keluar lg. in the middle of november baru keluar. ^_^
this one.

heart beat fast.
color and promises

i still love you no matter what robert pattison. even u are technically are married with her now. sobs

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


tunggu jap.




since this sem, a lot of things happen abruptly.
i'm not sure if this has nothing to do with me or others but i just feels that this sem is quite dull.

i'm not saying everyone around me are dull, it just me. well,
i still can laugh,
i still can make jokes, stupid jokes, silly jokes,
and i still can make happy-blur-nothing happen face.

it is dull.
 i will always find a reason to smile.

he's not here anymore.
he brings my sunshine with him.
he brings my heart with him.
he brings my precious with him.
 well, i still learning to accept thing. all thing without him now. i know i can. if not i wont be sitting here writing and looking the screen anxiously typing every single words with hope that he will be here as soon as he can.

i know.
i just know.
as long he's okay, i'll be okay.

 something happen also in my family.
again. the calamity, the obstacles we'd been through, were getting slowing down.
dear Allah, if there's another calamity befalled for us after this, gives us strength,
gives my mom strength she needs, my siblings, and also me. thanx for all You send to us to keep us alive.
there's nothing we can do without you.



this is for you my dear friend,

problems will always come after you. we are all grown ups. i'm sorry if i had made you sad or mad with me. but you should know, leArn to live well is one of the great lesson you'll need to learn in other to live in this big bad world.

stop being too dependable to the othes. or manja.
people like us will always become the person who lack of love. yes. love.

so no matter what happen, we need to be strong. and stronger with all the obstacles running down to our pace. do not run away. face it.  i used to be like that. but, somehow, now, i'm here. still alive. because facing it , is the only way left. no matter how sick our heart is, how dying it is, we still have the breathe.

life is hard.
but it is harder if you are stupid.

until the day we die, we will always be alone. trust me.
you'll not gonna lives with your mom.
or your dad.
or your siste.
even granny.
 so learn to live alone.
even our soulmate will leave us one day.
even us,
die alone.

in the way of searching your best friend, the best- who will be with you through thick or thin, you will face the all the not-so-friend first. only with that way you will learn to live. you will see all type of people.
all kind of face.
all kind of biatch.
all kind of angel.

there's a lot to be sacrifice of. not just your feeling. but your trust, your kindness, and your heart.
all for the through-thick-and-thin-friend you are searching for.

there's a quote saying,

"if you have five best friends in this world, then you have nothing to worry. your life is great."

i have them.

in my heart :)

everything will be okay.
if its not okay, it's not the end.
smile when it's raining. rainbow is waiting.

 *every morning except monday i will walk to the library from my house. 15 minutes journey.then oso jalan2 sane sini but why i'm getting fatter?

who cares. *krukk krukk. kunyah coklat

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Monday, October 3, 2011

50 tips for university students :)

1. A lot of things will be changing and different, your friends and yourself. Let them.

2. Chances are you will be bunking at the dorms. Remember to call your love ones back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.

3. There’s something amazing about songs, for they bring back memories of your favorite moments. One way or another you will be listening to music on the radio or at parties, so why not make albums of these songs. Years down the road, they serve as records of your best time in life.

4. Rest when you need to, for it recharges your mind and body for your next journey.

5. Wondering when you are most productive? Are you diurnal or nocturnal? If you are nocturnal and function best at night, embrace and enjoy that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.

6. Some like to stay ahead of time while others work best under pressure. If you are the latter, chances are you will procrastinate till the last minute. Experiment with them, and see which works best for you.

7. As much as it is important to be a responsible adult, at least a few times during college, do something fun and irresponsible.

8. Make friends with your favorite professors. There is so much more to learn from each other than books. Who knows, you may meet Professor Dumbledore.

9. Spend some time alone every single day. Sleeping doesn't count.

10. Go out and have fun, go on dates. Don't feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.

11. Don't date your roommate’s ex, it’ll be awkward.

12. When your friends' family visits, join them if possible. You will get to know your friends better and you'll get free food, etc.

13. Remember to send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.

14. Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always ask yourself, "what can I learn from this person?" There are things more important than just books and grades.

15. All-nighters are entirely overrated. Start early and rest plenty.

16. Those in college while maintaining a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: you two have to decide how things will work out. Understand that you two will be in different environments, but do not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don't want to date anyone else, that's totally fine! What's not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you're on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.

17. Working out differences is best done in person, not over Facebook, email, IM or anything else. Body language tells you more than just words.

18. Take risks.

19. Don't be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. You have the same stuff, period.

20. Come Wednesday night, your week is more than half over. Thursday and Friday will only get better.

21. Accept failures and pick yourself up. It's how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you refuse to stay down.

22. Take classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it. And you'll get to make more friends.

23. Think about the future, but enjoy the present. College is more than just a stepping stone.

24. When you're living on a college campus with hundreds of things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and money.

25. Don't be afraid of Cupid’s arrow and never take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don't let it define your college experience.

26. Much of the time you once had for pleasure is now gone. Keep a list of these things, so that you can start working on them when you graduate.

27. Setbacks may seem like the end of the world, but take a deep breath, and reflect on what you have learned.
28. Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.

29. Stay open-minded, regardless of your political or religious beliefs. You can't learn if you're closed off.

30. If you need a job, find something that you enjoy. Just because it is work doesn't mean it has to suck.

31. Take breaks from leading; it's good to follow sometimes.

32. Use your camera and make records of life in college. They become priceless in time to come.

33. Stay healthy and safe. You can’t do anything otherwise.

34. Drop your ego and ask for help. It won’t kill you.

35. Just because you are in the bottom half of class now, doesn’t mean you suck. Things can only improve when at your worst. Don’t let your grades affect you, get used to it.

36. In ten years time, very few of you will look as good as you do right now. Revel in how hot you are before it's too late.

37. In the long run, which college you attended doesn't matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you're given there. The college name on your resume doesn’t mean anything if that's the only thing on your resume. In college, you will have access to a variety of opportunities, grab them.

38. On the flip side, don't try to do everything at once.

39. Stay objective. If your emotions are getting in the way, ask for help.

40. With the high national obesity figures, it is important to eat right. But treat yourself sometimes, emotional health is just as important as physical health.

41. It’s ok to be a complete ass at least once. Cake in the face sounds good.

42. Wash your sheets at least once a month. You do not want to be buffet for bed bugs.

43. If you are in a relationship, bring your significant other to meet your friends. They may pick up things you don’t.

44. Experiment with food. Those strange looking dishes you friend is making may be taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.

45. Explore the campus, and find your own hideout like the ‘Room of Requirement’.

46. If you are no longer excited about your field of study, switch even if it complicates things. Life is too short for regrets.

47. Tattoos are permanent and costly. Be very certain.

48. Don't make fun of pre-frosh. You were there just a minute ago.

49. Enjoy every second of your college years. These seconds will fly by.

50. A time where learning is your key responsibility. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.
Enough talking, now go live the best years of your lives. Be yourself. Grab every moment, for there’s no DeLorean DMC-12 to turn back time.
Learn. Grow. Love.

#credit to yahoo.i found it interesting. hope for you too. :)

Monday, September 26, 2011

a bless to know them :)

bp mall.
sabtu. 24 september 2011.
aisyah, kawan matriks dtg dari utm skudai.
zura pulak dtg dari usm penang.
eksaited taw.
azie cant come. some aral melintang happen maybe.
ash aku tak dpt contact.
nad pon same.
so end up 3 orang je la.
plus 1. sopi. pakwe zura. sekuliah dgn kami juga di matriks. oh dia di uthm. dgn aku. :)

penat la nk taip. tunjuk gambar je lah :)
i'll tell the story later.
*lantakla. aku nk crite jugak.

zura yusoff

aisyah a.k.a ecah

sopi n zura

Monday, September 19, 2011


maybe i'm right,
maybe i was wrong,
but this is the one,
i'm waiting for.

Friday, August 12, 2011

tahun ni ai balik sabah. raya. * cool cool


Monday, June 27, 2011

today is the big day.
for me.
for us-the IT student.
for the short sem.
today is the last day i am known as FIRST YEAR student.

next sem i'm a SOPHOMORE ~~!!!
yeayyyyyyy :')

pray for me kay for the paper tomorrow :)`

Thursday, June 16, 2011

the hesitate.

i hate it when we be like this. this is not the right things for us.
but, yes,
as usual,
i'll follow your flow.
not mine.

as the rains getting heavier thou the heart getting fear,
it's you i'm going to bear.

i'm not asking much,
i'm not asking more,
just give what you think you would give.
at the end, i realize,
we are differs from another.
maybe you are right.
maybe you are wrong too.

someone i love tell me that,
"cuba berpegang pada satu benda sahaja. habiskan dan sempurnakan dahulu. macam juga belajar. tak payah nk ubah2 course atau tempat. begitu juga lelaki.kawan pada satu lelaki sahaja. semuanya sama je."

*the one who's giving me this advice was elderly. so usually "kawan" means "special kawan"

well, aku tak brape paham part "semuanya same je." maksudkan lelaki la tu. *haha 

so stick to one person if you knows he's good he's perfect. for me.
i'm trying to do that.trying to hold him only.

well if i assume you and study in a drawing, study would be a huge big black circle in the middle, and you are another bold line circle around it.

the middle means have more priority than circle around it.

i'll just hope i'm not into emotion again. or too emotion in me.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

down all the words.
look behind it.
everyone is there.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

hard time.

i know everyone will have their own hard time.
i just hope you can endure it.
it's one of the lesson to live in this big bad world.
tahan perasaan kau ok.
one day kau sedar kau ada yang lagi baik dari mereka.

mungkin mengambil masa y lama. setahun maybe, or 2 tahun, or 5 years.

but the sweetness is when you know you had already past the "own hard time" test.

rasa sgt gemilang.

sebab aku dulu pon mcm tu.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

janji Allah itu pasti.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


you know what.
this is my 100th post.
and i ain't any idea what to write about.
*such a lame idea yana. =,='

i finished my exams last wednesday.
but i just got home last saturday and getting back to my new rent house on sunday.
such a busy sem.
i know.

so, starting yesterday, we already starts our short sem.
but my class is today. and today is WESAK DAY.
i really hope i can do something good today.
not only sleep, sleep, cook, and eat.

semalam punye calories intake dah lebih 1500.  it suppose to be 1000 je.
2000 calories smpi gak kot.
hari ni tak bole mkn bebanyak.
*pnuh harapan hari ni kak ida tak masak sedap dan bebanyak. T.T

yes. i'm dieting.
lame dah. tp malas nk buat.haha
sbb hari tu dpn bp mall ade cm ape ntah dari HErbalife then they check my body. nor pon join. :)

that auntie said i had to cut my weight 10kg's more .
because that is my ideal weight.
i can do less. coz my maximum weight is 55.

she said,'if kite berat, lutut y efffect sebab if badan kita naik 1 kilo, tekanan kat lutut tampung berat for 5 kilos/'

but aku tak beli herba life tuh.
bukan sebab mahal.
tapi sebab takut if ada any side effect.
yeah, i know it is safe. it's HB you know. everybody know HB.
but for me,baik ikut jalan selamat.

byk tuu.
kesian lutut =,='

duduk rumah sewa sgt boring.
somebody please save me from here.

bile la McD taman U nak bukak.
arghhhh. makan lagik.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

in love.

i'm in love with you 

did you know he is  filipino+puerto rican :-)

sing me the song darl. haha

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

kalau depressed buat ape?

kalau depressed buat ape?

Answer here

i just can pray everything would be ease after this sem.
i just dont know what to say.
menangis byk pon tak guna.
blaja sudah. hafal sudah.
ya Allah luluskan aku untuk paper td :'(
 sekarang utk paper esok pulak.

Sunday, May 8, 2011


aku rasa perkataan yang paling banyak aku sebut dalam dunia ni adalah, "mak"

segala galanya 'mak'.

perkataan pertama keluar dari mulut ni pon 'mak'.

"mak, nak susu"

"mak,nak makan"

"mak,nak mainan tu."

"mak, nak kek yang tu. y warna warni tu.*guling2 atas lantai. *ye,ini kisah benar."

"mak,nak tindik telinga." pastu entak2 kaki.

"mak,nak beg baru."

"mak, nak kaler baru."

"mak, nak baju yang ni."

"mak, nak kasut y ni"

"mak, pencuci muka akak da abes"

"mak,nak pegi lawatan. rm70 hennget je"

"mak,akak dpt no 2 je"

"mak, akak dpt masuk uthm je"

"mak, nak DUIT."

you know what,
name it.
everything were given.
ain't more,ain't less.

i'm the one y paling degil.i know. dearly sorry.

happy mother's day, mom. :)

it just i'm too shy to tell you.
you knows me better.

love you so much,puan sarina lugiman. :)

yes,she loves kaaoke.

Saturday, May 7, 2011


6th may 2011.
yes, aku dgn jayanya jawab paper account yang tiada kerelevanannya dalam jadual budak yang blaja coding.

i just have nothing to say.

*sambung nanges kat ujung katil.

Friday, May 6, 2011

if it were all up to me.

If it were all up to me
The poor would have riches
And the blind would see
The hungry would eat
The weak would strong
And the people with hatred would all get along
The ones who greedy would start to care
The thirsty would drink
And the deaf person would hear
and sorrow and sadness would dissappear
And that is how the world would be
If it were all up to me

Sara Alfano.eleven

Thursday, May 5, 2011

whole day.

for the whole day of 5th may,
it suppose to be near a lappy there, but i used it to captured this pic. haha
ape nk buat, cam takde :'(

 on 6th may,

3-6 PM

yeah,since for the first time i learn this subject, first time for almost 20 years i live, i just have to study it like kingdergarten kid learning ABC again. and yes, i know  YOU learned it before, but can you just let me feel some ease for a moment.
let it be ease dear Allah. 

mari sama2 berdoa.
pray for me k :)

i'll miss you.
no,i've already miss you.
it will be a long 4 months.

*sambung nangis kat tepi katil.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Dolls Of Love

i just read the story a minute ago. it's a love story.

well, i know it's not the best story you ever heard and read. but, trust me,
this one,
is quite rare.

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him.
Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…
“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment
grabbing me.
“No… I am going to meet a friend…”
He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all.
He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…
Then one day…
Me: Um, Jin, I …
Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…
Then on the day i turned to 18th, I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me: Jin…
Jin: Here…take this…
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What’s this?
Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…”
Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday
After a month, I got myself together. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.
He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…
Me: I don’t need it.
Jin: What….why…
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
“I’m sorry”
He apologized in a tiny voice.
He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…
Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted…
But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
“Jin, move!”
“Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
That’s how he went away from me.
That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…
“One…two… three…”
That was how… I started to count the dolls…
“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty
It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…
“I love you~, I love you~”
I dropped the dolls,shocked.
I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
“I love you~ I love you~”
It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach,
that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…
Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…
For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life….

 i learn,

do not underestimate the littlest of gestures for they might be actually the ones
 which you will remember for life.
and how men sometimes can be too shy. :D

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


do you ever feel you really dont know why you are doing a certain thing for now?
no goal.
no feeling.
even no shadows of what it might be.
everything seems dull coz what u plan isn't really working out and it is extremely important to your life?

and you are wondering, "am i doing the right thing?"

paling penting, aku pernah tertanya2 kalau lah tuhan itu tidak wujud,
pada siapa kita hendak mengadu.
if any of your loved ones died, to whom would you complain and ask for sympathy?
if you had been in car accident and you lose your leg, forever, to whom would you beg?

about am-i-doing-the-right-thing i had think the consequence.
it will be the right thing if i do it sincerely and and make a lot of effort on what you are trying to do.

but, it will be the-not-right-thing if you do it with dark,dull and sick heart.

so, from my life, i just can conclude dark,dull,sick heart = not really knowing who are your god really is.

see the hook there? see the connection between
 doubtful am-i-doing-the-right-thing = your heart not close mentally and spiritually to Allah
faham tak?
faham tak?

the problem is with me,
i will repeat this thing like a flashback every single time i'm going through a phase of my life.

u understand aaa? ken? kenot? good.

 no one can help yourself unless you.
you too,yana.
stop whining and grab those books now.

Sunday, May 1, 2011


in my mind right now,
i'm thinking of my pointer.
then, i still have 4 papers more.
which is discrete n data that will or totally would or not screwing my pointer.
more, the person that i will let them down if my pointer down.
after that, about his pointer.
then, my pointer again.
it's all about pointer.
just right there, if i was thinking about our pointer,means i will recall all about you.
it's a bad thing u know, coz that will make i miss you.
but, not long after that,
i still thinking about my pointer.
and about the people i loves if i let them down with my pointer.
still, this mind, full of pointer.
does this life is all about 4 flat?
well, no.
but we need it.for life. to live.

so, it's all about pointer now.


"pegila study. kau ade tulis blog lagi apehal"

ya Allah, permudahkan segalaNya. berikan kekuatan untuk kurangkan malas. :')

ada rasa lagi tertekan tak lepas aku ulang perkataan pointer 15 kali. harap tak :D

Wednesday, April 27, 2011


saat orang lain dah start satu paper, atau 2 paper,
ok fine,korang dah habes paper. (=,=')

aku baru nak start paper besok.
aku baru nak rasa getar di dada sebab exam esok. :D

abes 11 may.

takde la lambat sgt kan abes? *angguk2

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

seindah yang mana?

seindah yang mana?
hitam tapi kurus?
gemuk tapi baik?
cantik tapi betina?
ramah tapi murai?
pendek tapi kacak?
dungu tapi kurang dosa?
senyap tapi tajam?
sayang tapi dendam?
comel tapi gedik?
gelap tapi manis?

Allah takkan membebankan hambaNya dengan kekurangan.
kekurangan itulah kelebihan.
kalau semua orang cantik sahaja siapa yang nk jadi baik sahaja?
mungkin semuanya saling mendengki mencari siapa y lebih jelita.
kadang2 aku tertanya ,
kenapa Allah jadikan dia kurang sempurna?
mana pelindungnya? macam mana dia tahan di ejek orang.

kau tahan kena ejek setiap hari?
kau tahan dipanggil 3 suku kemana saja?
kau tahan tiada kawan kerana cacat?
mereka lagi hebat.

sempurna wujud.
ada mata,telinga,tangan,kaki, itupun kira sempurna kan.
seindah diri sendiri.

Monday, April 25, 2011

kalau manusia itu tidak punya mulut,bertambah kacau kah dunia?
kalau kata hati boleh didengari,mampukah mereka berkata sendiri?cukupkah ruangnya?kurangkah dosanya?
onar y sudah cukup.tapi masih mahu mencari lagi.manusia.aku.sendiri.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

jadual exam. dan. . . .

28 APRIL 2011

3 MAY 2011

6 MAY 2011

10 MAY 2011

11 MAY 2011

again.mengapakah perlu sampai sekarang? isk. nak pergi ke tanak.