Thursday, August 3, 2017

Utilizing time

I love having time for myself.
But sometimes I wish I know how to utilize it more.
I miss writing in here.
I really do.
But sometimes you are just too lazy to turn on your laptop like you used to. lol

Now I remember why I got my blog updated before during my studies, it was because I have a lot of time spent on something that I should filling it with studying and learning coding. heh

If I do really studying hard and smart before, I bet I won't be here today. I bet I would be better at achieving goals. Apparently that is not the case now. lol

My boss asked to see me yesterday. I thought I'm gonna get bad news but alhamdulillah it was something that I have been waiting for the past few months. I do wondered once in a while, who has been praying for me as obviously kadang rasa macam ya Allah besarnya kekuasaan mu I didnt even do all the things you want but you still let me have it. It must be my mom whos been praying for me. It must be her. I miss you, mom.

It's already 20 past 12. I should get going. Night!

Thursday, May 25, 2017

tipulah kalau aku tak terusik hati ni. Tak terasa.
Tapi mungkin Dia tahu apa yang lagi baik. Sungguh mungkin kita tak kan pernah tahu apa yang terbaik. Tapi percaya sudah cukup. Cukup buat kau rasa , 'Tak apa. syukur. Allah ada'.

Monday, March 13, 2017


wow it's been a while since i wrote down here. 6 months i guess? or less.
frankly i just lost the passion to write in here anymore. but today? yeah I do manage to open it again :P

a lot of things happened for the past 5-6 months.

-it's a new year now.
- I have a new job.
-I have a new place.
-new colleagues
-new environment.
-new salary lol

I do believe  I am doing well now. I am happy for what I am currently. I do hope I can maintain it.
There's a bunch of targets that haven't been done yet. I should start them now. Like literally now.

I realize I am not really good on keeping an awesome track when it comes to that. I just feel mehhhhh~~
I wanna be me. Myself. If I do not feel happy when involving myself with unpleasant feeling, I should stop. It is either I am not ready, or I haven't found someone who could treat other people as they want to be treated.

It's Monday andddd it's my off day !! :D

I can say I love my new job. Because I don't have to meet client haha . Previous experience in career really help me a lot on achieving on what I have today, but to stay in that kind of field, I prefer what I am doing now. No, I am not sure where this path of field could lead me, but I know I have set a target to myself when I should level up and where I should go to achieve my next goal.

Working in an environment where you are the minority of your people , it had widen my view.The way they work, damn~~ their level of competency is marvelous. You know you can hand off your cases to the next guy and they will treat it like it is their own shit man. They know their shit.

And another thing is, they do less gossiping about other people. When they talk , it is either about how to improve their job or about their family. If you are not doing really well, they gonna talk about it on your face. It's not to deteriorate you, but to tell you what you can do to enhance yourself. The way they work, if you made a mistake, even if it is a huge mistake-like causing a site down and affect other 35 hospitals- let them know. So they can cover you up. It's that level of competency.

They rate you base on the data,the facts. The transparency of every action is high. If you are not good in it, you are not good. But they are not gonna be quiet about it. They gonna talk about it, but you gonna learn it.

But one thing I don't like it here , as usual, there would be a gap within the one who have work for quite a long time, and the one that just had been started working. They have their own clique man. But that's normal I guess. And sometimes I wish I can learn Pinoy so I could understand what are the most of them talking about :').eah

Yeah, half of my team is Pinoy;the kind that earn more from me lol, half of them is Indian/Chinese. and Malay was like 3 people apart from 60.
Great experience. But I really don't know until when. May Allah always show me his kindness by helping me get through everything.


Sunday, November 6, 2016


I wish i know what i am doing right now. It feels like everything is crumbling apart again.

I am lost.
In the middle ocean of people.
Trying to get found
Between all of these.

Sunday, October 2, 2016

why i always see other people as a happy person - happy couple and have a happy life ?

it seems like they have so much things that already fall into places for them.
and i am stuck here menanti dan menanti.